Monday, January 01, 2007

JON CONNOR'S SKI TRIP TOP TWELVE LIST (REVISED)

jon2

Top 12 things to do while anticipating the ski trip (Revised for 2007):

12. Refine your favorite way to say “Boo Mother Fuckers,” Brush up on your Geometry and play an insane amount of Pool. There will not be another Dave and Dave Pool Championship Celebration this year.

11. In an effort to condition one’s tolerance for the weekend, utilize several “occasions” to partake in moderate to heavy alcohol consumption.

10. If Amber Scott changes her mind, and decides to attend the Ski Trip, remind everyone of the following:
a. When walking down stairs, you don’t want to walk in front of Amber Scott.
b. If Ms. Scott just happens to be behind you, make sure you are at least five to ten full steps ahead of her
c. If you forget the above, contact Jen Miller as to what you might prepare yourself for.

9. Attempt, in vain, to tone up a little…we have to be presentable for the hot tub you know.

8. Solicit drinking ideas, in an effort to see many ways we can get drunk throughout the weekend.

7. Compose various demeaning and volatile racial chants, to replace, “Best Black Coach in America. According to David Schanding, Tubby Smith, is no longer the “Best Black Coach in America,”

6. Make visit to Lowes, Home Depot, or your favorite local hardware store of choice. Purchase all items necessary to mend any and all bridges that may have been slightly damaged, singed, or burned down over the past 12 months.

5. Locate “Delete/Format” button on any and all Photo/Camera devices, make sure you never….EVER…press one of these buttons.

4. Refine a list of alcohol that makes one a “happy drunk.” Also, make note of which alcohol makes one an “angry/mean/violent drunk.” Leave the so-called “angry” alcohol at home for the weekend.

3. Purge all Outlet shopping tendencies from your system before the ski trip. We have way too much drinking to accomplish, for such forays into the retail abyss.

2. Remember… “What’s said in the hot tub…Stays in the hot tub.”
*unless summarily questioned by Phil upon leaving said hot tub.

And the Number 1 thing to do while anticipating the ski trip…………….

1. Sit, depressed, in front of the computer…wishing you were already there.

7 comments:

neighbor dave said...

Go ahead and warm up the "boo mother f'ers" chant. This year's Dave and Dave celebration dance will include hula hoops, origami, and the ever forgotten "bankhead bounce".

Anonymous said...

Have we never played three man on any ski trip? Was I already passed out?
How bout a little beer pong this year.
(embarking on a hunt for best drinking games) Stay tuned...
MD

Amber Moles said...

Beer Pong! Beer Pong! Beer Pong! Great idea, Megan!

Lisa said...

I need an amended version of this list for preggo me. I'll try and come up with new ways to get other people drunk. As much as I hope Amber S. comes, I hope she doesn't mess with me on any stairs. ...and I'm really, really looking forward to shopping at the Carter's outlet. Can I still play beer pong?

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'd say Lisa has a valid reason to outlet shop and I, as a friend, could not fathom allowing a woman in her condition to weather the "retail abyss" alone. Therefore, i must sacrifice one afternoon for the sake of that little girl. (she would want it that way)
:) MD

Jon said...

We are losing people to the Retail Dark Side already. Just drop me off at the Go-Karts and pick me up when you all are done shopping.

We need to revisit the mechanical bull this year too.

Misty Barker said...

Jon on a mechanical bull...now thats some funny shit. Sorry Jon.

PS-Smoking outfit (literallY)