Thursday, January 18, 2007
PHIL VS. THE MORMONS
Talented? Sure! Annoying as hell? Probably.
You ever have one of those instances were you do something that is totally out of character? Something you normally wouldn't do? Well I had one today.
I got into a verbal altercation with a couple of Mormons.
Live and let live. That's usually my motto.
Not today. A couple of Latter Day Saints decided to cross me. Here's how it unfolded.
I was in a weird mood when I pulled up to the Speedway.
Kinda annoyed because it was cold outside, but also kinda giddy because our beloved SKI TRIP is a mere two weeks away (can ya believe it?)
I got out of my truck.
Standing out in front of the store were two young men nicely dressed in suits, with books and pamphlets in hand.
"May I have your attention, please?" one of them shouted.
"I am here to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ!" he screamed.
"Oh, Jesus" I thought.
I went on into the store, as he went on and on about angels and golden plates or something.
As I was making out my order, I was beginning to get really ticked off.
What right does this guy have to come and preach to me while I'm at work?
I don't come to his church and tell of all the glorious things about fantasy football!
I'm all for freedom of religion but this was ridiculous.
I decided right then that if he said something to me, I was gonna get smart with him.
That's exactly what I did.
I went to my truck.
I got my first load, all the time hoping, Ok, maybe even PRAYING that he would say something to me.
He said something.
"Excuse me Sir, have you ever heard of Joseph Smith?" he asked.
Without missing a beat I replied " Yes I have, he sure had a lot of wives"
It was almost like I punched him in the stomach (exactly the reaction I was looking for) Ummm.... he searched for his next words" .....yes, but did you also know that....."
"I'm working, bro, " I said. " Church is on Sunday, and this ain't Sunday" I continued.
He kept trying to talk to me but I ignored him.
So there you go. My little story about the Mormons. It wasn't much, but damn, it made me feel great!
CROSS ME AGAIN, BITCHES!