Sunday, November 30, 2008


And more importantly, is this cabin haunted or something?

note: Some of the details in the following story are probably wrong. Just go with it.


Last year at the ski trip was the first year I really got into all the poker playin business.
Needless to say, I really enjoyed myself.
We started out with two tables and I figured to be one of the first ones out, cause let's face it-- I'm not that good.
Anyway, after playing several hands, (and winning one or two) I was having a blast!
At the other table , JD was the first to go out.
"I'm not last! I'm not last!" I chanted.
I win another hand.
For some reason, people keep bringing me mysterious shots of liquor.
"Keep um' coming!" I say.
"I'm on a roll!"
Amy grows a pair and goes ALL IN.
Neighbor Dave takes her down with a flush. See ya Ames!
Meanwhile, at the other table, crafty poker playing veterans Mike and Big Jon both bite the dust.
Two favorites out.
Hey, this is gettin interesting!
The two tables merge into one.
"Want another shot, Phil?" someone yells (probably Kristin)
"Sure," I say, "the tables have merged! This calls for a toast!"
I win another hand.
My girl Jennifer kisses me for good luck. Nothing can stop me now!
Brett has a s-load of chips. I guess he's the man to beat.
It's down to myself, the two Daves, Brett, Matt, and last year's big winner and probably the best player, Megan.
I put Neighbor Dave out on a crappy hand.
He gets mad at me and storms out.
I try not to smile.
Keep the poker face, P-Diddy. (that's what I call myself when I plays)
I look at my watch. It's shot-thirty.
Dave S. is the next to go.
Ha! I'm better than Dave! Oh-oh. Getting cocky now.
I win a few more hands.
I sit out a hand to get a drink, when I come back, Brett's huge stack of chips now looks like one or two nickels.
Looks like Megan strikes again.
My stack is growing ---and so is Megan's.
Matt's chips are getting smaller. Brett soon goes out.
Its down to me and the damned Ohnheiser clan. This isn't fair!
JMill brings me a shot of something that tastes like Mountain Dew mixed with vodka and snot. It doesn't phase me.
Three, four, five, six, hands go by and nothing has changed.
Megan and I hold all the chips, Matt is barely hanging on. I can win this!
Then, all of a sudden, the room starts spinning.
Uh oh, maybe I shouldn't have taken those last 5 shots!
I look at my hand, hoping for the best.
Things are getting fuzzy.
I forget, does a flush beat a straight or is it the other way around?
I ask Mike, he laughs at me and calls me a dumbass under his breath (captured on film)
I glance back at my cards again, I have nothing, and the room is spinning a little faster.
Soon darkness will come... It's now or never.
"I'm ALL IN!"
"Honey, are you sure you wanna ...?"
"Yes, I'm sure!"
Megan lays down her full house or whatever and I head to my bedroom to lay down.
Third place!
Damn those shots! Maybe next year.
At least I didn't puke.

So that was my experience last year at Texas Hold em Poker. I encourage everyone to play this year. If you don't know how to play, learn, cause it really is a lot of fun. Heck, maybe I'll even make a soundtrack to listen to while we play. "The Gambler" and "Viva Las Vegas" come to mind. Ya know, the cheesy stuff I'm known for. And who knows, maybe you may luck out and almost win the whole damned thing like I did last year! Watch your ass, Megan.



Anonymous said...

Those puppets sure are creepy.

Anonymous said...

Yay Megan! Girls rule! (Although I would be much happier if my hubby brought home the bacon.)

Anonymous said...

You were missing the power of the tiara, yo!
I smell a challenge. Are you threatening me, Phil? I'll take you all on again!
I may have layed down my crown from Gatlinburg Idol, but I'll be damned if I give up the poker trophy!

Jen said...

I don't have the attention span for long games of poker. I'll keep my post as the maker of shots! I have a new tini tini "recipe" for this year!!!!

LKS said...

I just know we were making the worst shots we could think of and you weren't phased at all! I was impressed...


Philip Deskins said...

That means alot coming from "The Master"!
Thanks Kristin

Philip Deskins said...

And yes, Megan I am threatening you